In my last blog I wrote about the natural instinct for most parents to try and shield their children from any discomfort…pain…fear…or anxiety…as to try and make their lives as easy and stress free as possible. BUT many try to change the course to meet the child rather than allowing our children to rise and meet the challenge. We all want our children to be happy… but not allowing our children to face challenges, learn from choices and problem solve can actually thwart their ability to develop resilience…..think of it like this….resilience is like a muscle…it will atrophy if you don’t exercise it…so we must allow them to USE it so it gets stronger……
Remember…our job as parents is to model…teach…and coach our children through challenges…rather than removing or steering them away. Look at this way….in our effort to PROTECT our children we may be inadvertently thwarting their growth and ability to develop RESILIENCE. Children who know and BELIEVE that they WILL be ok….who know that even when they fall down…they can get up…WILL brush themselves off and keep going!!! THESE ARE THE CHILDREN WHO DEVELOP THE RESILIENCE to navigate the more difficult challenges that life can sometimes throw their way….these are the children who become strong, confident and emotionally strong individuals.
So ask yourself:
As a parent, am I constantly doing things for my child that they are actually capable and developmentally ready to do for themselves?
As a parent, remember and emphasize to your child that failure is a part of learning and if we never fail…we are not challenging ourselves enough:
As a parent, recognize the process and the effort rather than the outcome….you want to put value on learning and problem solving…rather than having a myopic focus on success;
As a parent, remember to create opportunities to allow your child to help others….THIS IS KEY….giving back and helping others boosts self-confidence, mastery of skills, feelings of worth and value;
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
Still need assistance? Call Suzanne @ 973-658-7767